Jokes and drug tests do not usually go well together, but we sure could use a bit of a laugh every now and then. So, if you want to find a funny side to the idea of drug testing, here are a few jokes on drug tests for you to enjoy.
They got too many rules on the job. I used to work at this restaurant called Cracker Barrel. I was a dishwasher in the restaurant, and I was a good dishwasher, but they had too many rules. The supervisor called me in the office one day, and he’s like, ‘Rod, we need you to take a drug test.’ And I was like, ‘Whoa, I took a drug test to get the job.’ And he was like, ‘No, this is a random drug test.’ And I was like, ‘Well, hell, you better pick somebody else, damn it. This is not a good day to do me. Don’t get me wrong, I can pass the test. I just need to study.’
– from RodMan, Jokes.com
2. Urine Test
I and another man was taking a drug test for employment.
He relayed a true story to me of a man who once sought employment with him for another company.
This man was a drug user and needed to have some “pure” urine because he knew that his own would never pass the test.
He decided to get someone else to donate urine for him.
When the day came for him to submit his specimen, he carried his friend’s urine sample into the restroom with him in his pocket, and then submitted it in the place of his own.
A couple of days later, he received the following call from the lab: “Mr. Smith (substituted name), we have some good news for you. We have received the results of your test and your urine is pure; you are drug free and healthy. And by the way, you’re pregnant!”
– Jose Matthew, bestofalljokes.blogspot.com
3. Drug Testing at Pepsi
Manager: You’re fired, Fred. The lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.